In Class Thoughts

What am I still doing here? It's been four years and I'm still being reprimanded for having the back of my shirt tucked in, chewing gum, laughing when I'm not supposed to. I feel like a damn 6 year old boy even though I turned 18 over two months ago. I understand its catholic school, I mean I've been through this all my life but now its REALLY starting to get to me. I only have a couple months left. 53 days of school actually but I always ask myself if I'll make it. Lately I've been cutting out early because I simply can't do a full day of wearing a shirt and tie and learning things that are of no interest to me. Over the years I've heard of this sickness, "senioritis," I'm beginning to think its for real.
Where am I going? I've yet to receive my college letter determining whether or not I'm going to school. This somewhat worries me considering I do want a formal education and the college life appeals to me. If I don't get this letter ever I think I'm going to move to either Mexico or Australia and do a little soul searching.  Maybe be a bar tender or some other menial labor job and do a lot of surfing and living. I've always to do a different culture for at least a year to see what its like living in that culture for all the holidays and traditions they have
This summer I bought a house with seven of my closest friends from school. It should be a hell of a time but I'm wondering if we'll get sick of each other before the season is over. I've been imagining living with seven other boys in a decent sized town house might get a little cramped but it is what it is and I'm sure regardless it'll be a crazy amount of fun.
I'm ready to actually start living.

Drop It Like Its Hot

May of Sophomore year, I was 16 and I didn't care much about anything except having an awesome end of the school year into a sweet summer. I had two really good girlfriends, both seniors at St Mark's. Their names were Sarah and Sarah. I would hangout with them on a regular basis during freshman and sophomore year and they were my two biggest influences that helped me open my eyes to a whole new way of living life. As their senior prom and graduation rolled around, they started caring less and less about school and Delaware considering they were moving to Arizona in a few short months. They invited me to their senior prom and I was going to be shared as their date. For a second, just imagine how cool I felt. I was a sophomore taking two of the hottest seniors at St. Mark's to their senior prom. If that isn't cool than I don't know what is. Prom is now three days away and the Sarah's have other plans on their mind. They decide instead of going to prom, (which they think will be lame) they sell their prom tickets and buy tickets to see Snoop Dogg in Atlantic City at the House of Blues. I thought this beat prom by a long shot so I too sell my ticket in order to buy my Snoop one instead. Night of the concert rolls around and my parents actually think I'm going to senior prom. In order for me not to get caught since they are expecting prom pics and I already rented a tux prior to getting my ticket for Snoop, the Sarah's and I take fake prom pictures and send them to my parents as cover up for prom. Genius. Right before we leave we find out that our friend Mike(also a St. Mark's senior) is seeing Snoop too! We pick him up on our way to AC as we prepare for a night to not remember. After a two hour car ride to AC, we're already tipsy and experiencing life like none other. I step onto the boardwalk and instantly start taking pictures with famous rapper Big Krit and he lets me try on his $40,000 Stewie from family guy chain, entirely made of gold and diamonds. After some boardwalk travel, we step on in to the House on Blues in anticipation of seeing one of my west coast idols. For a little backround information, the House of Blues is a relatively small venue with no seating, just standing. We end up about 15 feet from the stage, I could probably have felt Snoop sweat on me. Snoop steps on stage around 10:30 and by now I'm already smashed off tequila and 4loko that these awesome australian guys were cool enough to buy for me and my crew. I start dancing with the Sarah's and Snoop is giving a hell of a show. After he gets the crowd nice and crazy, he decides its time to get us insane and plays his hottest song, "Drop It Like Its Hot" I'm dancing with Sarah DeRita when the song comes on and we lose our minds to the words and heavy bass. After that I pretty much blacked out and don't really know what happened. I ended up in Sarah Derita's house around 3 am and wake up at 3. I come home to my parents thinking I was at prom, little do they know I just had the sickest time of my life in Sin City.

This is where it gets interesting. Approximately a month goes by and by now I've told all my friends and cousins about my awesome night in AC and they're in utter disbelief. One afternoon my loudmouth cousin Tyler goes on a nice jog with my dad and decides to tell him about Snoop, unbeknownst to him that he thinks I actually went to prom while Tyler thinks my dad knows I went to AC. I get a call from my dad later that day referring to me as a mastermind schemer(proud moment for me). I didn't get in any trouble and I couldn't have expected a weirder reaction coming from my dad who happens to be a State Trooper.
A day in the life of Ryan Mayberry.

iAddict

iPhones everywhere, a sea of iPhones all on different websites, apps, facetimes. People so addicted to their iPhones they suffer from mild headaches after a long day of staring at a screen of 4.5 inches x 2.3 inches. This is the nightmare I have at least once a month, of people too consumed into their apple product to even give my face a glance. The worst part is my nightmare is becoming a reality. Everyone in my family has an iPhone, and I am the only one who isn't addicted to theirs. To show the addiction in plain sight, here is an example. The other night, we had a family dinner, all five of us. This is pretty rare nowadays considering four out of the five of us work or are busy with some other activity. As I was trying to see what was new with my family, especially since I was in a good mood and was genuinely curious of what they had to say, I was disappointed when I looked up from my steak and mashed potatoes to see that everyone was checking their stupid smart phone. (how ironic). My sister was on Instagram, my brother on twitter, my mom had the audacity to sit there and play an intense game of scramble with friends, and my dad checking his email. Come on people, get real. Needless to say I became infuriated and got up from the table and finished my dinner in my room. No one even bothered to ask where I went. Its not like this legitimately hurt my feelings, but rather angered me and made me want to do away with my own iPhone and send a reality check to the rest of the Mayberries. 

        I see iPhone addicts everywhere I go now, especially school. I understand that you need to text someone in class or even play a game now and then to pass the time, but constantly snapchatting out of your bookbag? Unless you are naturally that conceded, who really wants to see your face every 30 seconds?

         I don't wanna come off as a technology hating hippie, but people, people, get real.

She.

As we lie here in bed, me and her, we contemplate the New year approaching. This girl and I. We reviewed 2012 as a year of great change and more changes yet to come. I even quoted Heraclitus and showed her my blog without being afraid of her judging me, I might have found love. We watched the ball drop in times square and ate a new years cake with her mom. I might love her. Speaking of love, we just made it. It was spectacular to say the least. I've never met anyone like her, and to think we just met a little over a month ago. I sound like Voltaire. I work with her at my new job, she is the cashier with dreadlocks, her name is Stephanie. Working with her after a long day at school brings joy to my days, and to think that we only met a little over a month ago... She smokes Marlboro menthol, its a bad habit but it has a sex appeal nonetheless. Over this winter break We've spent almost every waking moment together, doing everything and nothing. Exploring each others bodies, exploring the eastern seaboard, exploring what it means to find one another so randomly.
She just moved here from North Carolina, I'm showing her around these parts. They might have called in "courting" in the early 1900's, but this is 12:20 in the New year, 2013.
She has tattoos, they're beautiful and so is she.
I wrote this blog hoping she'll somehow find out about it and read for herself in the near future while we're still young and know what its like to find random love and not think twice about it.
I wrote this while thinking that I just spent the New year with her in her room talking about life, the future, and a bottle of french vodka. I love being 18.

Free Thinking

There is nothing more valuable in life than being able to think your own thoughts without boundaries or rules. To be able to make your own decisions regardless of consequences. Don't let others do your thinking for you! Everyone was given a unique mind for a reason, that reason being able to do free thinking. The most admirable thing in every human is their ability to think different thoughts from one another, this is what creates everything that has ever been created. Every fine piece of literature, every equation, story, character, ect. Without free thinking, we are nothing. Getting lost in your thoughts for hours is the effect of a single free thought, given to you by you for no reason. A surprise gift if you must. While it is known that we all have free will and free thoughts, not everyone realizes how free they really are. You have the ability to do something ridiculous at any point in time if you wish, if you freely think about it, what's stopping you? What would stop me from standing up during class and proclaiming love for someone or even hurling my bookbag out a window? Nothing besides society's normal decorum that protects people from thinking too freely. They keep restrictions on thoughts and actions to prevent chaos. All of this may just seem radical or just extremely ridiculous, but without chaotic thoughts, people would be tempted to act chaotically. Free thoughts let one play out scenarios in one's head. The ending results of the free thoughts determine whether or not someone chooses to act on these thoughts, sane or insane. Without free thinking, we would be nothing.

One of televisions most popular primetime shows currently airing is American Horror Story. Ask any teenager walking the halls at school and they know exactly what time and what day the new episode premiers. Although season two is all the rage, season one is easily the superior of the two. One of the main characters of season one, Tate, is a troubled teen who has and still does viciously murder other human beings; reasons stay unknown. He however kills only to show love and affection to the only other human who sheds light on his dark existence of a life (actually he is dead so this statement is ironic and contridictory but for purposes of blogging, it makes everyone's life a little easier). Viewers believe that Tate's lover would be the obvious choice of a protagonist since the camera pays her the most attention, but without Tate she has no purpose. Throughout the entire season (which I tore through in a span of 48 hours) she is deciding if Tate only kills because he is a psychopathic undead tormented soul, or because he truly cares for her and wants her and only her attention. However, after much contemplation on my part, I realized that Tate must be an antihero. Not because he is a rebellious outcast who strives to become something significant (which cant happen because he's dead) but the complicated stroy which is intertwined with several other plots revovles entirely around his being. All the other character's fates depend with certainty on Tate's next move. Considering that he has the power to wield everyone elses futures, he must be the antihero. Without his psychoneurotic behaviours and ability to manipulate others lives, including that of his lovers and her family's, the story would have no base. No point. Tate makes an excellent antihero. No one particularly likes him, nor are they supposed to. For these reasons I enjoyed watching Tate unfold his plans on others and seeing what evil he could dabble into. Interesting ending though, Tate dies alone. This time for good.